Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Book 15: Crucial Conversations by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, and Switzler
Anyone who is in a relationship, has coworkers, owns a business, has friends, has siblings or parents .... must read this book! (Did I capture everyone in that sentence?) I must admit, it was not exactly what I thought it would be about. I naively assumed the 'crucial' part was more in relation to helping others move through difficult situations through conversation.
Well, not exactly.
Instead I found myself in chapters about understanding your reactive style to hard talks, how to disband poor listening skills, how to get back on the same page, and move into a place of agreement versus doors slamming. Well, that is extreme but how often has a simple assumption turned into an argument about an argument?
Like I said, read this book.
The author's concept is rather simple - first take a step back and "start with heart". Remember what you wanted to get out of the conversation originally. Make it safe - often response or lack of response is not due to the harsh words, it's the harsh conditions. Stop your stories and lead with your observations. Explore their path and seek to genuinely understand their perspective. Then move to action with the most results-directed path possible. In a nutshell.